Hi, I'm Phil
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Who are you?
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Ask Phil! Do you have a question that requires the vast knowledge of a specialist
to answer?
Take a drink from the fountain of knowledge - (or you could just gargle) to view the most recent questions and answers!
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CLICK HERE to take a ride on Phil's Cool Astral Projection Flight Simulator. (Again, your browser must be Java enabled) |
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Have you been told you are weak minded or highly suggestible? Are you too easily influenced by other people? Are you susceptible to subliminal messages? Phil can help you! If you think you fit the above description, click on the link below to receive immediate relief from your problem. Let the graphics load then stare directly into the center of the screen for a full minute. You will feel much better. (Do not click this link unless you fit the description above!) |
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Here you will find a song that strikes my fancy.
Across
the Universe by John Lennon
(I'm not that big a Fiona fan, but I love this song) |
I've decided to found my own religion. That's where the real money is. I'm still working out the details of the theology. I am, in fact, open to suggestions. (Temporary marriage certificates have already been suggested.) However it evolves, you can rest assured that, like all religions, this is the one true religion and all the rest can be referred to as cults. So, here goes....
HERE'S WHAT RELIGIOUS LEADERS ARE SAYING ABOUT PHIL "I always turn to Phil for guidance..." Reverend Pat Robertson " He makes good sense to me." Pope John Paul "I always listen to Phil." Reverend Jerry Fallwell "Phil has helped me through some tough times." The Dalai Lama (EDITOR'S NOTE. The above are blatant lies.) Eternal salvation or your money back!!!
We now have over ONE DOZEN members! Most people find that belonging to our bogus
religion is highly convenient - it's really all they're looking for.
Like many other religions, we can be bought. For a measly $100.00
"prayer gift", we will program our high speed SPAM computers to email your
request directly to God - not just once - but thousands of times!
Who knows? He might even receive it!
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 The
Book of Phil
His Life on Earth - the first 200 years Red letter edition Pub. 2153 by The Institute. Available from Tralfamador Press - N.Y., N.Y., NAFTA, Earth 
Expand your mind! Click on the BOOK above to order your copy today. |
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You could do your patriotic duty by burning every last piece of U.S. currency available to you. This would decrease the supply of dollars, and, in turn, drive up their value. Unfortunately, the inks and dyes used in modern paper currency produce ozone depleting CFC's when burned. In an effort to protect our economy while preserving the environment, we here at The Church of Phil have developed a method of disposing of U.S. currency using an environmentally friendly technique. You must act quickly! Collect all of the U.S. paper currency you can lay your hands on. Send the cash to The Church of Phil and we will dispose of it properly. It's not tax deductible, but you'll have that warm feeling that comes from doing "the right thing". |
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CLICK HERE to view startling new NASA photo of the real Man in the Moon taken by the Hubbell Space Telescope! |
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Before you go on, please take a moment to click on the symbol above. Thank You. |
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Sorry, These pages haven't been updated for months! I got bored with them. Phil |
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Severely out of date! (Too Boring) |
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Believe it or not, I have restrained myself (somewhat) in order
not to unduly embarrass my children.
