Here's some stupid quotes that have struck my fancy at some point in the past:  

• Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

• Non-reciprocal Laws of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.

•  You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with

 a kind word alone.    -Al Capone
 
• I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian

because I hate plants.    -A. Whitney Brown
 
• I have nothing against vegetarians.  Some of my favorite foods are vegetarians.                                                - Phil Light

•  Sacred cows make the best hamburger.    -Mark Twain

• For every tax problem there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated and wrong.

• There is no art which one government sooner learns from another than that of draining money from the pockets of the people.  - Adam Smith

• The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.  - George Bernard Shaw